I have no regrets. (Me then vs me now)

Lately I’ve been revisiting a devotional that I got when I was single.  My answers to the questions this time are a little different – to say the least. 

The chapter I’m on now is “Having a Focused Heart.”  It’s about focusing on what God wants for your life and doing it.  Max Lucado talks about focusing in on the P.L.A.N.  Here are the four questions he presents.

Am I fitting into God’s Plan?

What are my Longings?

What are my Abilities?

Am I serving God Now?

Before I was married these questions seemed to be very useful for me…as I was figuring out what exactly God wanted for me and what direction to go in as I pursed him. 

You see I had a number of things that I wanted to accomplish in life.  After much prayer, soul searching- and research I put together a list.   I told myself  if ever during my life I found myself not focusing on one of these things, than something needed to change.  (OK- so I’m a little goal oriented!)  Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Wifehood

2. Ministry (particularly youth)

3. Travel

4. Acting (ya, that’s right I’m an actress-don’t judge!)

5. Owning a Coffee Shop (now, does this really surprise you?)

Sooo, looking at that list, and then at my life right now, you can tell many things have changed since it was created- including me. 

You don’t see motherhood on that list at all- turns out that wifehood goal was a packaged deal.  And well, it’s going to be the foucus of my life now for quite some time.   I may be able to hit up some of those other goals sometime during my lifetime, but for now, I’ve let go of the drive to make them happen.  Wondering why, I look back at Mr.Max Lucado’s questions and evaluate the focus of my heart…

I absolutely believe that I am “fitting into God’s Plan.”  Titus 2 says that in order for the Word of God not to be maligned (which is what I would consider God’s Plan)  woman should love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands.  Ok, so I definitely don’t do ALL of these things well (as you may have read in previous posts), but- I believe I’m on the right track.

I know that right now my Longings are to be the best wife and mother possible.  To be a good steward of our finances and to live debt free.

My God-given Abilities?  Well, I have a few strengths I’m trying to excercise these days.  Writing being one.  I might not be practicing the art of acting daily, but I do, shall we say “perform” multiple times a day for two eager audience members.  (Hey, who cares that they’re only 1 and 2 years of age!) I  like getting creative in the kitchen (that could be considered a strength), and cleaning/ organizing is a bit of a strength too.  And Yes, I’d say these things fit nicely under the job title of “Mother/Home-maker.”

Am I serving God Now?  To answer this would seem a bit redundant I think. 

Overall I’m sure that I’m where God would have me.  I don’t know if I’d be able to say that so confidently years ago when I wrote out my goal list. 

Once you become a mother or even just a wife, it’s easy to mourn over the person you once were.  You see everything you were as an individual is now…transforming.  You wonder if you’ll ever see the likes of that woman again.  (At least that’s how I felt) 

But I’ll tell ya, you get to these clearings along these new paths you’re on.  And in the clearings you’re able to see how that individual that you were- that you worked so hard to develop- that she created an incredible foundation for who you are today.  AND you’ll be thankful that you’ve grown to be so much more!!!  I sure am.

0 thoughts on “I have no regrets. (Me then vs me now)”

  1. Thank you for this post dear friend. I have recently found myself in the forest with this one. Wondering how all those “talents” I was told I had…that are not really part of my life anymore…fit in. I’ve been missing them, I think.

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